Hi, friends.
This subject, I hate. And..I love. I've {grown} to love.
Singleness. And why it's important for more than just single people.
I could write a thick book on this topic; my struggles, annoyances, and why I think this is the most important season in a person's life.
It's hard being single. But as I spend a lot of time with married friends, I also see that marriage is not always blissful. Both stages require a deep commitment to one thing or another.
Singleness is a time to seek, to keep seeking, and seek some more. It is a time of transformation. It is finding who you really are. Christian or not, it is a time to discover your purpose.
I will be the first to admit that I have dated so wrong in the past. I have allowed myself to be molded around what the other person does or wants. I've not been confident enough in my identity to own who I was and WHOSE I was. It makes complete sense to me why I am single. It's not punishment. It's not that God is mad at decisions I've made. No, that's not how He rolls. He {knows} the very detail of my heart. He {knows} my deepest thoughts and desires. Our minds cannot attain, at their highest thought, what God has prepared for those who love Him. Who trust Him with their very life.
Single friends, we cannot become so entangled in this idea, this fairytale, of "marriage" or "family" that it clouds who God is. Isn't it exhausting? We aren't called to enjoy a fairytale, we are called to excel in our purpose. What is our highest calling? "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength." Do you know how much He desires that? He's jealous for you. Y.O.U. Do you really love Him, or are those just words? They've been words to me for too long. If we {really} want to become like Jesus, then this dreaded single life should be joyful. Oh my gosh, yes, there are hard days. But guess what? The moment you allow the God of the universe to control your thoughts and your decisions, no, things will not get easier. Sanctification is hard. But the moment you chase hard after Jesus' heart, and the moment you become "okay" with this season, and the moment you desire Him more than anything, your world will be purposeful. It will have so much meaning. This is {not} a time of waiting. One of my biggest annoyances that takes the Jesus right outta me is when someone says, "Wait on the Lord, He will send a perfect person when the time is right." Oh really? Duh. We all know that. But singleness is not a season of waiting, it is a season of the most important growing. This season affects so many other seasons. Who you marry, what you do, how you do it, how you raise your children, etc.
And what's the second most important thing? The hardest thing. "Love your neighbor as yourself." That overwhelming commandment. Overwhelming because it seems to demand that I tear the skin off my body and wrap it around another person so that I feel that I am that other person; and all the longings that I have for my own safety and health and success and happiness I now feel for that other person as though he were me. Compassion. One of the hardest things to teach yourself. Authentic compassion is hard and uncomfortable and messy. It requires that you disadvantage yourself so that you can meet and care for the disadvantaged, which really always works out for your advantage. Think big picture. Think eternally. And pour out thanks that you have the ability to be the advantaged, caring for the disadvantaged. Adopt the mind of Christ. Take on His eyes. His heart. And those disadvantaged people? They aren't just disadvantaged people. They, too, have been created by the very same God who formed you and me. How we care for them shows how much we love God. What we do for the lowly, we do for God. What we don't do for the lowly, we don't do for God. When you stand before the Lord, some day, are you going to be called a sheep or a goat? Read Matthew 25.
Now is the time. If you can't pour yourself out for friends, family, orphans, widows, homeless, what makes you think you can do it when you are married? Your spouse will not complete you into an awesome person. You can be awesome RIGHT NOW. The God in you makes you awesome. So, chase your dreams. Be God-struck. Let Him take you into unknown places and rest in knowing that you can trust your fragile life to a Strong Omnipotent and Omnipresent God. When you belong to God, your every identity empowers you to do impossible things.
So, friends, run your race. Go hard. You don't need another human to set your pace. If you can run your own race at the pace God has set before you, then how awesome and how much sweeter it will be when someone comes alongside you and encourages you through this race. Don't lose heart.
You want to know the quickest way to set yourself free? Spend some time in prayer. Get acquainted with the Spirit. Love others. Read The Best Word there is. Don't exhaust yourself by desiring something you may never have. Wouldn't it be a tragedy for the Lord to return and your lamp empty of oil?
Single person, my heart beats harder for you. I know there are tough days. You get to a certain age and all your friends are married + probably starting to have kiddos. I've found it so beneficial and encouraging to find other single friends. Get yourself a community. Find people who relate. Find families that will pour into you and teach you and {show} you that marriage and family are harder than they appear. Learn from people. Be vulnerable. Be teachable.
Remind yourself who you are and whose you are. Your life has so much purpose and meaning. YOU are important. YOU can make a difference. And you are loved beyond your wildest dreams.
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